Disclaimer, before I start, this post is opinion based on my own experience, internal thoughts of my own scions and thoughts conjured by articles I have read today.
These articles are both from the Independent and are about disabled persons of both genders who are to be sterilised for their "own good". One is a lady with six children already who doctors feel will die if she falls pregnant again. I know it's the 21St century and we all have this magical view that dying during child birth doesn't happen anymore. According to Margaret C Hogan, et Al in the Lancet (2010 Maternal mortality for 181 countries, 1980–2008: a systematic analysis of progress towards Millennium Development Goal 5) the UK ranks No. 23 with 8.2 deaths per 100 thousand. Last time I looked, the UK is a first world country. Child birth is still a risky business. There's an argument that this is the start of the descent into eugenics. While that would hold water if there wasn't both a good medical reason and the woman did not already have six children. The second article was about a man who had an IQ so low he would forget to use condoms (although, frankly, every man is guilty of that while plastered) and, while he was having supervised visits to his girlfriend, who also has learning difficulties, he managed to impregnate her. The resulting child is reported to have had significant impact on both families, which I read as neither parent was able to cope. Babies are said to be hard work for every parent, disabled or not. I know plenty of disabled parents, who cope and are great parents.
I have butted up against learning difficulties and parenthood in university. I took ethics in my final year, and both in the literature and in group projects, there where case studies of parents with various grades of learning disabilities, including Downs syndrome, and hypothetical outcomes. Would a parent with a learning difficulty understand the needs of a child? Would they understand the implications and impact of having a baby? How will they feel if the child's intellectual ability grows at a "normal" rate (if you've read this blog, I don't believe in normal), and out grows theirs? Are disabled parents going to become a burden much sooner than other parents might (i.e. through dementia or stroke) and with more certainty? Does it limit the child, both through possible poor parenting (although honestly most parents muddle through) and by stunting their future, inadvertently?
None of these questions have simple answers, I certainly don't have any answers. I'm asking them to get us all to think through issues surrounding disability and parenthood. They are, in my opinion, slightly negative. I haven't once considered that blind parents are perfectly capable, a mother in a wheelchair is more than able to care for everyone in her family. Disability should never be an automatic preventative of parenthood. I'm sure everyone reading this blog knows someone who is both disabled and a capable parent. For every negative example presented, I'm always sure there's ten positive examples, E.g. for every dole scrounging illegal immigrant with ten children and a criminal past that the Red Tops love to parade around as an example of Broken Britain, I suspect there's ten hard working, law abiding immigrants who want a better life and to contribute to society.
It takes ethical committees some time to discuss these issues and come up with a conclusion.
I have met people who are just below the line of what is considered disabled who are automatically banned by law (Ireland) from marriage and children. It makes me wonder if I fall into some draconian law. I've discussed before that I have thought long and hard about babies. I understand the concept that children take work and have no off switch, but some days I struggle to self care, so how can I suddenly be able to care for this vulnerable, helpless creature that is totally dependant on me for everything? Maybe these are feelings of all parents, but I think for me there are serious considerations to be made.
None of this is helped of course by my opinion that in the general population that the ability to have babies doesn't automatically entitle you to babies. If the forced sterilisation on medical grounds of intellectually disabled people has people screaming about eugenics, then a broader brush stroke really will set off the eugenics alarms. Today you can stop disabled people, tomorrow what stops you from declaring another group "undesirable" and we're free falling into 1930s Germany.
While I would hope our laws, judicial system, government and general populace (yes, when things start going pear shaped, the citizens of any society need to join the debate and stand up for each other and what's right. Remember the lesson of "when they came for me, there was no one left to speak out for me") have enough checks and balances to prevent wholesale and indiscriminate breaches of human rights, including that of procreation.
It's a ridiculously difficult topic, filled with pit falls and caveats, that requires nuanced and thoughtful discussion. Monotone honking about eugenics on one side or equally tone deaf "it's for their own good", is neither constructive or growth inducing.
All I know for sure is my parents are going to be enjoying years of not being grandparents, and I'm going to enjoy disposable income and holidays during term time.
Be safe and thoughtful of others.
