Just thinking

I set this blog up to follow my new journey into the diagnosis of CP.

Meanwhile, during the ad break, I did that.

So guess that wraps up this blog quite neatly.

Goodnight.

Mybe i'll do a montage clip show later.......

waiting times

After an entire year of waiting, I finally saw a nuero doctor earlier this week. Within a week, I already have a hip x ray appointment. It's ok, I didn't want children anyway. While this is a a step forward to finding out why my gait is dodgy, it got me thinking about something else. That flippant joke about xrays fixing me? Yeah that.

The more I've learnt in the last year about myself the more I'm left questioning if I should have children. Is it fair to have children when one partner has two disabilities and a nuero-biological disorder? I am fairly sure I could cope with support with a child (i.e. the babies mother, my parents etc), my question arises from is it fair to know that I have 'bottlenecked' all these different 'problems' (this ability, THIS ABILITY) and know that I am willingly playing genetic roulette to get a result.

I suppose we all play the game when we create children, and Downs, CP etc do randomly appear with no suggestion in either parent. When those children are born they are still loved and have every right to a full and happy life. I know what I have, and while people don't know exactly if the disorders I have are genetically passed on, should I have children to fulfill a possible need in me by bringing a child into the world who faces years of hardship and extra courses? Not that I currently have that urge, babies put me off mankind, at least when a dog wees on the carpet it's cute.  

So I guess what I'm saying is that if and when I do want children, i don't just need to be financially ready, with a nice house etc etc, but also ready for unexpected surprises, one of which maybe of course that my off spring have avoided all I have to give them.

new beginnings.

My name is Paul, and I am 29. In 2011 I had a Dyslexia re assessment after a problem in a job and it threw up an odd Empathy Quotient score. I followed the advice of the Educational Phsycologist and chased out my scores and had an Aspergers assessment. In early 2012 I was diagnosed Aspergers after three tests and much discussion. A year later I am still only learning my way forward, and a new challenge faces me too.

I hope to use this blog for an number of reasons, mostly as therapy but also to share what I learn with others. I haven't looked but I would bet there are a million blogs and as many websites with advice and knowledge far beyond mine. However, I believe that another candle in the dark is still more light, and even just one person reads this blog, contributes or learns from it, then mission accomplished. First a little fairy story.

London has always changed my life. When I moved there when I was nine the school I moved to quickly picked up on something the schools in my home country had not picked up on, that I was dyslexic. My parents, then as now, where very supportive and poured money and time and effort into my education and special needs help. Quickly I grew and developed. For ten years, even after I moved home, I had this support.

Then I went to uni, and being 18 and stupid I cut the support. In hindsight this was a mistake.

I went back to London in 2011 for a job. It went wrong, how and why I won't say, but with a loan from a friend I organised the aforementioned test.

I moved, with my last money to Nottingham, and crashed on a friends sofa. I found a job to cover bills, and we moved into somewhere better. In 2012 I got my diagnosis, and the support swung into place. Now I have a new job, my dream job, and this time I am going in prepared.

Now I have seen neurologists about possible mild cerebral palsy, and the journey starts anew.

A new lady in my life has suggested I start this blog, I hope it helps.

Please comment, share and suggest, I will try to be educational and informative as well as funny and heartfeeling.