Sleeping troubles

I have a complex relationship with sleep. I do too much of it, at the wrong times, I enjoy it but equally I can't sleep when I have to.

It is recognised as an aspect of Aspy, and when I was reading a little around while doing my testing, although that said in a vain attempt to prevent skewing any results I didn't do any real reading, I discovered that Aspies do have trouble sleeping and can be prescribed sleeping tablets by a health care professional. I know my cousin has set sleeping hours and is completely out during that time, whereas I sleep erratically and have been known to be awake for twenty-four hours and then sleep for nearly the same amount of time.

I have been on sleeping tablets but that was due to work related stress (a topic I am still trying to formulate into a tactful and tasteful blog post, something that I find difficult to do), and they worked so well that my Aspy nurse had to give me 'the talk' (one of many) about how they don't help me sleep and just mess up my clock.

I had a three hour nap yesterday during the day, and I have slept for four hours during the night, I've been awake since four and up since five.  I have university in three hours, so I can't go back to bed, and it would be similar with a work situation.

Sleep serves a number of functions for humans and other animals, and while the purpose behind it is not fully understood a number of theories include obviously recharging lost energy, a chance for the body to heal (if your brain isn't trying to keep you alive consciously it lets you body focus on repairing itself), a chance to learn (who hasn't seen those baby adverts), and as a defense mechanism, we sleep during the night for a reason, it's when all the big bad things that eat us come out. Find out more here.

So more safety for me, surprisingly placed, and uncovered during my tests. I was asked when I felt safe. Laugh all you want but my response was: In bed asleep.

When I analyse this thought though, and when asked to explain why I felt safe there my answer was simple and surprising:  I fell safe because when I'm asleep I am not in trouble, everything is OK, I'm not doing anything 'wrong'. 'Sleep, that's where I'm a Viking!'

All joking aside, it holds water as an argument: it is a social situation I understand (I'm asleep, how hard can it be), I'm with 'someone' (myself, or a partner who may also be asleep) who doesn't expect anything of me, who doesn't require empathy. Being asleep takes me away from situations I perceive as harmful or challenging (which is part of the protective theories connected with sleep theories), stressful situations that can cause me to become overwhelmed, and avoids taxing me into social situations with people who may not understand me.

The world turns, I'm safe and life continues, at least for the brief times I can sleep, I miss things I find stressful or intimidating. I just wish I could regulate it a little more, and do it on command.