procrastilaxing

Yes that is a real word. Sadly.

I don't know how, but my diagnosis was riddled with things that are true, without me having to say so much as a word. One of the things picked up on is my inability to motivate myself outside of a structured environment. My 'starting mechanism' is faulty. Interestingly, this is something I have yet to tackle with my Aspy nurse, who has been tied in knots trying to improve my work life.

Getting moving in doing things that interest me takes a lot of effort, and then I'm suddenly surprised by how easy and enjoyable that thing I was putting off is. It's like there's a block, a barrier that makes things loom high above me and I'm afraid to touch it in case it collapses on me. I am like electricity, i take the easiest route and I occasionally shock.

This ties into a lot of my life, study, hobby, going to the shops to buy stuff. I will revisit this topic in future as i develop strategies and tactics and see how I improve, but for now I thought I would just mention it.