The wheat from the chaff.

Right, NO one is callous enough to use that wording, but having read some things on line, that's how it feels. I had vague ideas about this post, like I do every post, before typing takes over and the million voices in my head spill out and I have to cram them all back in before someone decides I need to visit my GP, again. In the last two months, the Tory party have had two fairly prominent figures say outragious things about the disabled and their worth in society. Researching this topic has thrown up a barrage of professional opinions from all of the main stream media and rebuttals from groups and charities with a much higher profile than myself. So with all that in mind: small time annoyances away!!!

The first is Lord Freud, who according to GOV.uk is the undersecretary for state and responsible for welfare reform, decided that disabled people are only worth £2. Anyone who pays any attention will realise that is delightfully lower than the UK minimum wage, which for anyone over 21 is £6.50 and we need to drop right down to the Appretice grade for anything close to Lord Freuds suggestion with a £2.73, and this only applies to apprentices under 19 or those in their first year, and then it becomes National minimum wage. 

To suggest some one, anyone, isn't worth at least the basic equal dignity and respect is abborant and heads us towards Godwin's law rather rapidly. I would rather avoid making obvious, if a little extreme statements, or conservative opinions, or any political opinions, will be variations of well known extremes. To suggest that people who are valuable, integral, and intelligent parts of businesses, or running their own businesses, people who are emotional, feeling, caring humans, aren't worth a minimum wage, which is supposably a living wage, lowers them to a different class. Class drives British society. I do find that generally it is a fictional construct that no one pays attention to, but I have occasionally been treated as not worth someone's time due to a perception as "lower". This, hilariously, isn't usually people with a title, but those who wish to be part of the "gentry". This is going wildly off topic, before I start discussing how WW1 changed the class system forever I am going to veer back on course.  

Often critics of blanket attacks on Muslims say "replace the word in your argument with Jews, and then watch how uncomfortable and unpleasant your point becomes. That is why your argument is invalid." I would ask Lord Frued to do this. Replace your suggestion that disabled people are only worth £2 an hour and with the suggestion that Jews/Muslim/Christian workers are only worth £2 an hour and we will watch the credibility and validity of your argument crumble.

The second comment came from Mr Andrew Selous, MP for South West Bedfordshire (GOV.uk). He stated that disabled people are grateful so work harder. Yes because companies pick their staff through pity and not ability. My manager does joke that I tick the companies diversity policy when we are inspected, and by saying I am gay too catches every box, but this is just a joke and clearly so. Stating that disabled people are grateful and work harder for it ignores the fact that the economy is still tanked and anyone with a job should be grateful, even if not gushingly so. This statement could be seen as a positive, hire disabled people, they work harder type message. 

Disabled workers, like myself, should be hired and supported based on their merits and abilities, not on medical conditions. Diabetics populate every professional field, asthmatics work every day. Disabled people work without flags signalling them to all and sundry. I know of a severely disabled gent who runs his own business using a light writer and business acumen. I know blind people who can buy and sell my ass with very little trouble. A blind man was an MP. 

Saying disabled people are worth less than others and should work harder to be thankful is ignorant and misinformed.

Selective pressures

Repeat after me: this is not a work blog, this is not a work blog, this is NOT a work blog.

Right, now that we have that out of the way, lets talk about work.

Aspies struggle in work, I have struggled in work, and there's some key things that I have discovered about managing in work.

Work, as much as it gets moaned about ("we wouldn't call it work if it where fun"), is an essential structure in life, and it forms a framework for me, at least. It gives me an abundance of human interaction, it gives me achievable goals and relatively easy tasks. I am incredibly lucky (repeatedly) that I do something I love, that I can manage, and that I find rewarding. Without work, what else would I do?

I've already discussed the idea of getting a support worker/nurse to speak to a manager, who can provide skills, insight and management techniques. It also gives the support worker a chance to get a feel for the work environment and the management team, giving them the ability to give tailored support and if needs must, tell the Aspie when it's time to find a new job (something I'll accept is tough for Aspies as it is).

The Internet loves lists, so here goes (on a side note, I hate slide show lists):

First rule: Be honest. "I have this difference, but these are my coping mechanisms, this are my behaviours, this is my support worker and this is what I do well." It's how I got my current job, I was brutally honest, and here I am more than a year later going for a promotion and have extra roles.

Second: As mentioned, bring in that support, ask for reasonable adjustments, whatever is required.

Thirdly: Try to gauge a good manager. This is tough, I know, but again this is where a support worker or nurse can do wonders. They will spot the managers who actually care, as opposed to those who want to just do the bare minimum and then wash their hands as someone struggles. I have repeatedly turned down jobs because the manager has come off wrong, or I didn't like the work environment. I have stated that money won't buy me, but a decent manager will.

Fourth: Find a job that encompasses a field of interest. It is repeated as major trait of Aspergers that we have a few special interests and social situations, and this is certainly true but that doesn't mean an aspy cannot do something they are gifted at. I've been told my speciality interest is women (Ladies) and the handling of social situations with them (read: flirting), but honestly my current job, and the current speciality certainly, is an interest of mine (I totally didn't buy the book for the next course before the course has been announced, I swear). This special interest become a TV trope of course, claiming we all have superpowers, but unless being able to nap anywhere is a superpower, I haven't got one. (Narcolepsy Man: STOP! or I'll zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz).

Five: Pick a specific area to work in. Yes this sounds obvious, but in my current field if I worked in a large workplace, with many departments or sections or offices with uncontrolled workload coming in I would not do as well as I am. By selecting the pressures, I am thriving, eliminating certain factors that may put me in a spin by picking a workplace that automatically eliminates those factors.

I am very sure this list isn't exhaustive, but right now I'm drawing a blank (I got distracted by TV).

I'll revisit it as soon as my brain starts working.


 

success.

Today was spent building and admiring hobby related items. While most of my thought processes during this where: oohh that'd look good/I think I might be hungry?/come on glue hurry up and stick I need to pee, some of it (mostly near the end where I was satisfied with my work) turned to the measurement of success. How do we measure success, and how should I measure my success? It's easy enough with hobby: this morning I had parts, now I have an army that'll be wiped out with one well placed enemy sneeze (I'm not kidding either, nearly my entire army has no armour saves). It's measurable success, I now have a tool that will allow me to participate in the meeting of others and their laughter and scorn.

Success is measured by different people in different ways. there is an info graphic online of the rise and fall of success where not peeing yourself is considered success at both ages 3 and 60. The Online Dictionary defines success as the achievement of something desired, attempted or planned. So today was a success because I now have something to show off and strike fear into peoples hearts, something I desired, attempted and planned.

What does success mean to an Aspy? I cannot be an authority on the subject by any stretch and I'm sure this topic will be expanded or revisited in future posts. Also I'm very sure that many Aspys will not think of their success, as many are people in their middle years who have been newly or recently diagnosed and while they have answers to questions left unasked, they also have blended well enough to hold a job, have families, and succeed by any ones measurement.

While I don't go for the sickeningly sweet praise of 'how good someone was', or that 'one should be proud of how well they did' as if Aspies are completely incapable and one was the good puppy who made it out of the house before widdling, I do wonder if maybe we should pat ourselves on the back from time to time for what we accomplish or achieve. If we should look at how hard we have worked for our goals?

I have a Honours Science degree that I gained with no support for my Dyslexia, and with no knowledge of my Aspergers at all. I am now trying to patch together a masters from module courses that fit around my work and social life. That is success that society recognises in anyone, and promotes as a 'good' way to be a productive member of society. Many people say I have done well to even get a career and pick myself up from disaster in the past (I attribute this to me being too bone headed to do anything else), even though currently I am not riding the heights my career could take me to. I've been offered an 'in' into those more glamorous ends due to my encyclopedic knowledge of certain topics, but so far I have hesitated to accept. I don't feel ready.

Maybe success for Aspies should be measured with another yard stick. Could success perhaps be something more intangible like navigating a social situation, or even having contact with another human. I have friends and have had girlfriends, something my NT friends seem to fail at. I must admit I cheat: I count matchsticks into a match box, then tell a girl I'm an Aspy with the superpower to count items really fast, ask her to throw the matchsticks on a table and then I shout the number I just 'counted' and let her pick them up. Never fails.

Anyway my cheating aside, perhaps success is just being able to spend an hour with a crowd, an hour without talking obsessively about our favourite topic (did I mention my army?).  Even just having a conversation without making a faus pax. A day where we weren't overwhelmed by sensations. that last one is a tough one, as we cannot always avoid what will trigger a sense, like I cannot avoid a strong smell.

I do believe we should reach for the heavens, even if our rocket is a firework and our safety briefing involved the words: crash landing. Aspys shouldn't listen to 'advice' given by experts about how well we will do, what we should expect from life or our ability to achieve. We should have our own yards stick, that isn't set by some arbitary society rule. Money and fame aren't success, but getting to talk to a friend for five minutes might be.

Media exposure.

A fellow Aspy has had an article published in mainstream Irish media, It is very interesting and worth a read.

This is positive media exposure, that shows Aspys both as the positive people we are and the regular people we are. His mother (Helen) seems to be amazingly supportive, just as my parents are. I believe this is key to some of the best results in Aspy kids, as every one of us (hey, we are all someones kids) that I know have parents who work tirelessly to promote their children and push them to be everything they can be.

Fionn has his own blog, it is more advanced then mine so have a read and see how our world is shaped. I'm still trying to write a post about calling myself names (and I got given out to so much in work when I mentioned it, as predicted).

Anyway, it's late and I have hobby to build/admire/procrastinate about.